Writer Ferret at Large

One of the ways I spend some of my free time is in online games. I normally gravitate to the online role-playing games, the MMORPG’s as they are called in the industry slang. These games usually involve a couple of thousand people all sharing a virtual life in some virtual universe, striving together towards common goals, sometimes fighting against each other, and constantly developing their online personas. Many different people play these types of games. Common wisdom dictates that only younger people play them but I personally have met thousands of housewives, retired couples, thirty-something married couples, 13 year old adults and 50 year old children. The sheer breadth of human experience is exhilarating and bewildering and I love it.

I honestly don’t spend a great deal of my life playing these games, unlike what some of the stories in the popular media like to portray. I do lead a guild, a coalition of like-minded players all striving for a common goal, and have lead this guild for a number of years. For good or bad, I’ve managed to stamp my own brand of ethics, morality, and sense of fair play on the people who have shared guild membership with me. I’ve had the honor and the pleasure of serving as the head of a large, unruly and sometimes combative family and I’d like to think I’ve taught them a few things as well as learned a bit.

One of the things that I’ve learned is that family is who you make it. You have your biological family, of course, and they are vitally important. You can also have an extended family, and yes you can form very deep bonds of friendship with someone who you’ve never met face to face. Situations that arise in these games allow you to learn what you and the people around you are truly made of. Do you nobly stand your ground in a hopeless situation, sacrificing your own virtual life so that your team can make it to safety? Do you instead turn and run at the first hint of trouble, leaving everyone else to fend for themselves? Can you trust someone to truly do what they say, to watch your back, and to put your interests if not above their own at least on an equal level? Many of you might scoff at this, thinking to yourselves “oh, it’s only a game, it’s only fantasy, what a loser” I’m sure. That’s sad, in my opinion. Sad, because it’s generally spouted by people who don’t really understand what it is they are condemning, people who have no real handle on the true nature of human psychology or nature. Most people who condemn this sort of thing don’t really understand the true nature of friendship and can’t possibly imagine being fast friends with someone without actually ever seeing their face. One of the benefits to these types of friendships is that you actually spend more time with these people than most friends spend together. In addition, the time you spend with them is high quality time for the most part, times when you are displaying your true character. You get to see how your friends handle anger, victory, defeat, frustration, happiness, luck, virtue and all the other myriad emotions that we encounter throughout a lifetime. You get to form a real picture of the true nature of the other person unencumbered by social filters, stereotypes or preconceived notions. It would be interesting indeed to put engaged people together in this type of milieu for six months prior to their wedding, allowing them to get a real look at the person they were pledging to spend the rest of their lives with. I have an idea it would be a real eye-opener for some. I do not believe that these games serve as a substitute for real life, nor do I think that all friendships should be virtual. I value and treasure the times I spend with my RL (real life) friends and wouldn’t give up that personal contact for anything in the world. There is nothing quite like face to face contact with your best friend, sipping beers and bullshitting while you watch the pretty girls stream past your table but there’s also a place for the online, the virtual friends. Everyone needs a family, everyone needs friends, and we should never turn away from them no matter where we find them. As with all things in this life, balance is the key. Remember to open yourself to new experiences, new surroundings and new experiences. People are important and you could do worse than reaching out, through the screen, and touching the lives of other people and allowing them to touch yours in return. You’ll be all the richer for it, I promise.

My computers have always been friends to me, but computers that run Windows are like those friends who come over, refuse to chip in on the pizza, eat all of it but one piece, drink all your beer and then puke in your toilet. I’m about at my limit now, and this laptop is getting wiped this week and rebuilt with Linux. I’ve frankly had enough.

Now before you get your panties in a wad and think this is going to be some anti-Microsoft rant extolling the virtues of Open Software and other egghead geeky things let me tell you… you’re absolutely correct. Of course, what you of the unwashed masses don’t understand is that computers aren’t supposed to be user-hostile, they aren’t supposed to interfere with your work and they are supposed to lower your blood pressure, not raise it.

Rebooting and reinstalling software or operating systems isn’t supposed to be a regular task, and you’ve all been brainwashed into believing that it is. Bill Gates and his cronies have convinced you all to put up with crappy substandard software and have brainwashed you all into believing that it’s supposed to be hard to use them and a major pain in the butt. That’s how they ensure their job security, by convincing you that this is too hard for normal people to do. The irony of the situation is that they convince you it’s really easier; they attract you with sleaze and glitz and whisper about how it’s all so easy, don’t worry, they’ll take care of everything and that other stuff is just way too hard.

My ex-wife had a lot of flaws. One of them was a complete and total ignorance towards anything computer related. Ok, ok, normal people may not consider this a flaw but hey, I do and I’m the writer here and you’re the reader so deal with it. Ah, the beauty of a bully pulpit and the joys of absolute power… oh sorry, I digress. Anyway, my point is that she was openly hostile towards computers in general and Windows in specific. She found it incredibly obtuse, non-intuitive and nearly impossible to use. This same woman gleefully embraced Linux and used it every day. That’s right, a woman with almost zero knowledge in computers and absolutely no interest in gaining any used a Linux based computer every day to do all her normal mundane computer tasks. That sort of puts the kibosh on any argument about which is harder to use, in my mind.

Of course this woman was blessed with a person in the house who knew what in the hell he was doing when it came to computers. She had the luxury of someone like me setting it all up for her and making sure it was tightly and correctly tuned before turning her loose on it. Of course, once it was up and running I spent almost zero time maintaining it, such is the nature of a Linux based computer. She almost never rebooted it, rarely had any issues, didn’t get the whole virus-scare thing since she was relatively immune and couldn’t even fathom someone paying hundreds of dollars for email programs, word processors, web browsers, etc. She had a small amount of commercial software I got for her, but it was mainly purchased so I could show support for the vendors who had the guts to support Linux and not because we had no viable free alternatives.

Most people don’t have the luxury of a live-in system administrator and computer guru. That’s fine, but those same people do have the luxury of taking advantage of one of the myriad prebuilt distributions available out there. You can even download versions of Linux that allow you to completely boot off the CDROM without wiping out your precious Windows system and you can poke and prod and learn to your heart’s content before committing to it full-time. Rarely have I seen a “normal” home user who needs anything specific to Windows. There are situations where I think Windows is appropriate but the normal home user more often than not doesn’t fall into that category in my experience.

I’ve been using Windows on this laptop since I bought it, taking advantage of all the preinstalled stuff and the sheer laziness of not taking the time to rebuild it to my own specifications but quite frankly I’m sick of rebooting, I’m sick of random lockups and I’m sick of having to take up all sorts of precious hard drive space with software designed to protect me from the flaws and insecurities of the operating system itself. That precious space could hold lots more MP3’s for my listening pleasure, after all. Say goodbye to my little calliope, because she’s about to be thrown into the fire and reforged. Say hello to my new mistress, my new love, my little Linux laptop that could.

I’ve had some people tell me that everything I write lately is either too political, too serious, or a little of both. They wonder where all the light-hearted comical pieces I used to write have gone. I’ve also noticed this myself, and am not really sure how to answer it.

I generally write whatever is on my mind at the moment. I almost never sit down with a topic firmly in hand, ready to write it out and explore it. I usually just fire up the word processor, take a minute or two to stare at the blank white screen and then let my fingers start typing away. Often I’m completely surprised by what comes out.

I also miss some of those funny things that I’ve written in the past and I hope to write more of them in the future. It’s much more fun to write self-deprecating columns about my twiddling tendencies, to wrap an entire story around the funniness of the word “booger” or to tell stories about my underwear-eating dog than it is to rail against Bush and his cronies and how much I loathe them. Being negative all the time wears me down, to be honest.

I think this tendency towards seriousness is just a reflection of where I’m at in my life right now. I have a lot of worries, a lot of stress, and I’m not really in a position to feel light hearted very often. When I write, I generally do so in order to explore my own feelings so this seriousness that I’m experiencing comes to the surface. I’m feeling very serious lately, I’m feeling far too grownup and consequently when I write to explore those feelings that’s what comes out. It’s a shame because I used to pride myself on not being too grownup, on being just a little bit innocent and childlike.

Hopefully my life will be changing for the better soon, though. I’m returning to my home, to the area that I love so much. I’m moving back to the Bay Area in July and will be looking for a job very shortly. I got pretty discouraged looking for a job in the depths of the dot com crash and I needed a bit of time to reenergize. I’m hoping to be able to sell some more of what I write once I get there and I’m hoping to be able to find a job to help bridge the gap between what I can make from my keyboard and what I need to keep my dog and cat fat, spoiled and happy. I really think being in Kansas helped me to remember who I want to be, where I want my life to go and why I want it to go that way. I certainly feel a little more in touch with myself and seem to have a lot more resolve.

Maybe once I get settled back in to the area I call home, the area I love so much, my seriousness will let up, just a little. I’m sure it will be reflected in what I write, in the topics I choose as well as the way I explore those topics. Hopefully, my light hearted side will come back to spend some time with me and I will gladly welcome it with open arms. Until then, those of you who choose to share a little bit of your time with me throughout the week will more than likely see more politics, more ranting and more disgust with the current state of affairs in America. I hope to offer you some humorous treats to reward your patience soon!

Although I have no actual desire to get involved in politics, I often imagine what I’d do if I were President. To that end, I’ve assembled a psuedo-platform to outline the key points of how I’d handle things if I were elected.

I’d tackle the whole exportation of jobs issues immediately. I’d radically slash the number of H1B visas granted each year, and I’d work closely with industry insiders to craft an incentive plan to keep jobs here instead of moving them overseas. One idea I’ve had is to levy tax penalties to companies that ship jobs overseas along with tax breaks to companies that stay below a certain percentage of foreign employees. Part of their reasoning is that the cost of business is less for them to move jobs away from Americans and give them to other countries, so let’s make it painful for them to do so and economically beneficial to employ Americans.

I’d squash all of the crap about the legality or illegality of torturing war prisoners. Mistreatment of prisoners is wrong, pure and simple, and when it has happened to US prisoners we have (rightfully so) thrown a major fit. We have no right to then turn around and do it to others. I’d launch full-scale investigations up and down the chain of command and anyone found ordering or sanctioning such behavior would be facing criminal prosecution. I’d also immediately move forward with hearings for each and every prisoner in Guantanamo Bay to determine whether we have a reason at all for continuing their detentions. Those found without any useful information or involvement in terrorist activities would be returned to their families posthaste. I’d fire Don Rumsfeld and John Ashcroft immediately. Rumsfeld would have to go because of his involvement in the whole torturing thing. Sorry, but it happened on your watch, bud, and authority comes with responsibility attached. It’s time to pay the piper. I’d fire Ashcroft so fast the windows in his office would blow out from the sonic boom of the pink slip flying into his office and hitting him square in the chest. The man is scary, pure and simple, and he has no business spreading his paranoia and his fascist policies in our government.

I’d immediately repeal the Patriot Act. There’s absolutely nothing “patriotic” about it, and even the name it bears disgusts me. While I agree that the government needs to root out and destroy terrorism internally, I vehemently disagree with our civil rights being eroded in order to accomplish it. John Ashcroft and George W. Bush have done more to erode and destroy the basic tenets of our American society than the terrorists of 9/11.

I’d immediately move forward on establishing full Iraqi sovereignty, as well as establishing and instituting a plan for rapid withdrawal of American troops from Iraq. They absolutely cannot move forward and become a functioning and reasonably whole member of the international community as long as we continue to occupy them, even under the guise of “reconstruction.” I’d work with the Iraqi government and American businesses to contract for reconstruction help, after all we broke it and we should fix it. Our soldiers don’t need to continue to shed their blood every day over there, though. Let them run their own country, that’s the premise we went in under and that’s the reality we should institute. I’d take all the forces I pulled out of Iraq and put them to work rooting out Osama Bin-Laden. I’d hunt him on the ground, in the air, on the water, in the caves, in the deserts and anywhere else necessary in order to run that viper to ground and destroy him. Bin-Laden was the mastermind behind 9/11, not Hussein. Bin-Laden needs to be brought to justice and his Al-Qaida network destroyed. Why is this man still alive? Why is Hussein in custody yet Bin-Laden is still free to devise more plans to wreak havoc on us?

Back at home, I’d dropkick all this crap about amending the constitution to ban gay marriages. Our constitution is an instrument carefully crafted and designed to grant and ensure rights, not to take them away or limit them. All these moves to add a constitutional amendment to ban gay marriages are just simply moves to turn the constitution into a tool of discrimination and go against the fundamental nature of this most basic document. I’d leave it up to the individual states to decide what was right for their citizens in this regard.

Those are just some of the top issues I’d work at addressing if I were President. Most of the issues I’d work to advance would center around reestablishing pride in ourselves, dignity in the way we treat our own populace as well as other countries, and basic fairness. I think we’ve gotten on the wrong track in the last few years and we need a good stiff smack upside the head to get us going in the right direction again. Most of all, we need to address this pervasive paranoia, malaise and downright rudeness that seems to have permeated our national character. Any burgeoning politicians out there, feel free to steal this platform for your own… I’m not crazy enough to actually want the job for myself.

It’s an election year. Our economy is still in the toilet. We’re bleeding jobs to overseas competitors. Unemployment is still rampant. Talk is circulating that the feds might start to raise interest rates. We’re still at war. We’ve just been caught abusing people in the custody of our government. At any time, some whacko could walk through the door with a bomb and it seems like half of us are constantly expecting it and on edge. Our own government is stripping away our rights and feeding in to the general fear and paranoia. All in all, it’s a rough time to be an American.

One of the lessons I’ve learned over the last several years is that nothing lasts. All this misery will eventually pass, and we will even out to something moderately acceptable. Good times don’t last, bad times don’t last, they all eventually move towards the center. Sometimes, though, it seems like the depths of the bad times reflect the peaks of the good times; we stoop lowest when we’ve soared the highest. Maybe this is some sort of grand balancing scheme, making sure our karma evens out in the end. One of the things that I always try to do is to pay careful attention to the undercurrents of society around me. As I’ve said many times before, I am a people watcher and an observer of life in general. I am also a person that can draw together a coherent pattern out of a seemingly unconnected series of events, clues or bits of information. This tendency has often frustrated my family when I can (at times) easily guess my Christmas or birthday presents, but it also allows me to paint a vivid picture based on nothing more than a set of feelings or vibes.

I usually can’t really put my finger on exactly what piece of information finally does it for me. I can’t usually tell you when I slip over the peak and suddenly just “know” something. It’s organic, the information sort of swirls and eddies around me, accreting slowly until suddenly there’s this gleaming pearl of understanding. I could no more explain how I do this to someone than a person could explain how they curl their tongue up. Either you can do it or you can’t, but you can’t ever really explain it. What I can tell you is that I’m starting to see the faint glimmerings of a pattern emerging from the chaos of daily life. I can’t quite put my finger on it yet, I can’t quite tell you exactly what it will end up being, but I can tell you that some order and regularity is poised to emerge. I get the general feeling that this order, this regularity, is a good thing. I feel like we’re about due for an evening out of the scales and the pendulum is making its way back to center. Lord knows we’re long overdue for it, and I’m hoping I’m seeing a true pattern emerging instead of just imposing my own wishes on a chaotic and depressing period of life.

Many things lead me to believe that what I’m seeing is real, that what I’m experiencing isn’t just imaginings and wishes. I see patterns in the way people talk to other people. I hear snippets of their conversations, see and feel the things they are concerned about, and get a little bit of insight into the concerns of their daily lives. I see patterns in the economy, in the seemingly random and unconnected bits of financial news that I glean from the newspapers every day. The job market is still sluggish, but it finally seems to have hit bottom and started working its way back up. People are caring more about world situations than seems normal for the last few years, they are paying a little less attention to their own personal misfortunes and focusing a little more energy on the inequities that exist on the world stage.

More and more people are asking pointed questions; they want to know they “why” behind situations instead of being quite so content to just go along with things. The American public is slow to rouse, slow to anger, and quick to forget but once they get lumbering in a certain direction they usually manage to change things. The trick lies in seeing which way they are heading and either running around in front to wave the baton or just simply in getting the hell out of their way.

It’s very fashionable now to prophesy doom and gloom; to loudly proclaim how our world is going straight to hell in a handbasket. I used to yell right alongside the doomsayers but I’m beginning to quiet down just a little. I’m beginning to hope just a little. I’m beginning to believe, just a little. I hope I’m not wrong.